Friday, February 11, 2011

Life or Something Like It

It has now been two weeks since our little Emily went to be with Jesus, and other than a moments thought at about 11am on Wednesday (the day Emily was born and died) about the fact that I gave birth two weeks ago in about an hour, I did not think about it much.

It seems strange to me that I did not take more time to think about Emily and all that happened that day. But then I find myself thinking about Emily at odd times, and being affected by strange things. Like yesterday, I was catching up on one of my DVR'ed shows, The Bachelor (can you believe that I admitted that I watch that crazy show?) On a side note it has struck me lately that The Bachelor seems more like a soap opera than a reality TV show.
Anyway back to how The Bachelor affect me recently about Emily...On the show there is a girl who's name is Emily, and the bachelor often calls her Em, when I heard that I got really sad thinking that we will never get to call our little girl Em, which I think is so cute.

Then the other evening, Ron, Maddie and I were sitting on our bed reading books before bed and I started thinking that we would never do this with both of our daughters. Ron had to finish reading the book to Maddie because I was crying, and when I cry I cannot talk (though it is a talent that I would like to aquire, it would make my life a bit less complicated).

It is the little things that I think will always keep Emily in my heart and mind. It would be so easy to just sit at home and think about Emily all the time, but life continues on and I have to figuare out how to be part of it again.
So far I think I have done a pretty good job. I get up every morning, mostly because a 2 year old does not understand Mommy's need to stay in bed and sleep for a few more hours; I take a shower and get dressed and feed both me and Maddie breakfast. Then we attempt to have a "semi-normal" day, which includes some type of cleaning and an attempt at dinner.
So I have begun to get back into life and find a new normal for our whole family.


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