Wednesday, February 9, 2011

I Have Two Children

I was asked the question yesterday, "How many children do you have?" I actually thought I would have longer until I had to answer this question. This exact question is maybe one reason why I have avoided having conversations with strangers, and especially strangers who have children. Because when women talk it is generally about our children. Yesterday while at MOPS I was talking with a mom that I did not know and we were of course talking about children, and she asked me how many children I had. I paused for a second before I answered, not really sure how I wanted to answer. The truth, I have two children. But that takes a lot more explaining than just saying I have a 2 year old daughter. But after a pause I told her that I have two children, one here and one in heaven, and then I shared with her a little about Emily. It was hard and I cried. But I am glad that I was able to share about the existence of Emily in my conversation with someone.

Several days after Emily died I was talking with a friend who has also lost a child. In the conversation she mentioned that the question of how many children you have will come up and you will have to decide how to answer. I am so thankful that we had that conversation because in a way it prepared me for how to answer. While consciously I never came up with how I would answer, it was at least something in the back of my mind. There may be times when I don't answer the same as I did yesterday, just to avoid having to explain further, but at least I have encountered one more tough situation and survived.

I was reading another mother's blog tonight and at the bottom of one of her posts she had this verse, "For I know the plans I have for prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. I think this is a wonderful verse full of promise. The one thing that I keep thinking is that none of this has caught God by surprise. He knew before the beginning of time...And He has a greater plan in all of this than we can even imagine. So I will take comfort in the fact that He "knows the plans He has for give me hope and a future."


melbamarie22 said...

another wonderful verse is, Eph. 3:17-20 So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to HIM who is able to do IMMEASURABLY more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us!

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