I have not opened my Bible much since Emily died. This is not an act of rebellion, it is simply I have not felt much like reading my Bible. I have days where I am angry at God, but being angry is also not the reason I have not opened my Bible much recently.
With that being said, I know that the Lord knows where I am right now and He has provided other ways for me to be in the Word and to be ministered to through His Word. In my last post I mentioned the blog "Pray Date," this blog has become a daily place for me to go and be ministered to. Most days the verse touches my heart in some way. I was also given a daily devotional by my sister shortly after Emily died. A few days after she gave it to me I looked at it. And then I just kind of forgot about it. Yesterday my sister text me and shared with me that that day's passage had really given her comfort, (she also has the same devotional). So I picked it up and read it. It was very timely for yesterday for me as well. It is these little ways that the Lord is showing me how much He cares and that he wants to meet me right where I am.
Today's verse on Pray Date is a verse that meant a lot to me in the days following Emily's death and I still think about this verse often. It is 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."
If you have spent much time talking with me in the past few weeks you have probably heard me make some reference to this verse. Maybe not the exact verse, but things like I truly believe that the Lord knew how much we could handle and he did not give us more than we could handle.
He has also given us a "way out", so that we are about to bear it (Emily's death). For me the way out has been blogging, and connecting with other moms who have also lost a child. Another way out for us has been our other child, Maddie. She has been such a joy to us, we are reminded everyday by her love of life and her energy that we can make it though this time of intense grief. I truly believe she is helping us heal.
12 hours ago