Monday, March 7, 2011


Over the last several weeks I have had this though several times, it is not a happy thought and in all honestly it is kind of dark.

In those moments when I am feeling sad or overwhelmed I sometime think it might be easier if we just went back to life the way it was before I even got pregnant with Emily. Life was easier before we knew this pain, it was less complicated and we were so naive. I stop and think, "she was only alive, both inside me and on the outside world, for such a short time...why are we so impacted by it"

I am not saying that I wish to forget about Emily or everything that we have gone through, but it would maybe make it hurt less and life would be easier, at least in my crazy brain.

Those are my thoughts in dark, painful times. But then I am reminded of how much I have learned and grown already since Emily's life and death. I think about how much more open my heart is to God and all the He has to say to me. I think about all the amazing women I have met and the strength that I have gotten just from reading about their stories of surviving and remembering the short lives of their children.

The Lord has never promised us that life will be easy, in fact, John 16:33 says “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

We can take comfort in the fact that HE IS and even when we have trouble, HE IS.

This sure was not the direction I had intended to take when I started writing this post, but as has been the case many times over the last few weeks, I really feel that the Lord directs the direction of my posts. Sometimes I read back over what I wrote and am amazed that I actually wrote that.
After I looked up the John 16:33 reference to make sure I got the verse correct I decided to go back and read the context of that verse. I often find that a verse can be taken out of context and applied to our lives in any way we see fit. But if you actually go back and look at the context you can often learn something more, or realize what you thought the meaning was is not really the meaning at all.

I am going to make this a "To Be Continued" post, because I feel that John 16:16-33 and what I got out of it needs its own post.




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