Ramblings About My Week

This morning at MOPS I met my friend's baby girl for the first time. We were pregnant together and she was due exactly two months before me. He baby is beautiful and so precious. I cried, but she was wonderful about the whole thing. I did not hold the baby, but at least I have gotten past the first meeting. Now hopefully we can get back to play dates for Maddie and her daughter (though sometimes I wonder why, since two year old girls seem to fight over every single toy.)

My husband also left tonight for almost a week. A good friend of his, father died last last week and my husband is going to go to the funeral. But we figured since he was going to make the flight that he should also see his dad and a few other friends before he came home. Then the funeral date got change and so we had to make some changes in his travels. Basically it means that he will be gone two days longer than we had originally planned.

I am wondering how I am going to handle being alone for almost a week. I am sure I will make it, but tonight I am sad and already missing him and he only just left.

Tomorrow I am taking Maddie in to see the Optometrist. We have noticed about two months ago that her eyes are not always looking in the same direction at the same time, so we decided to have it checked out. But it took nearly a month to get her seen by her pediatrician and then almost a month to get an appointment with the Optometrist. I have no idea what to expect tomorrow. I know how Maddie is with new people, and especially new people who want to examine her in any way. So tomorrow should be an adventure.

I am crying less lately, but crying at odd times. I am getting closer to my EDD with Emily and that has been making me think a lot too...

I just looked at the date and realized that it was three months ago today that Emily was born and died. I am actually sad that I did not think about it sooner. But I guess my mom did. She remembered. She gave me tulips today and said these are for Emily. It makes sense now. How could I do that? Forget the three month mark? I think about her everyday. But sometimes the days get so busy with "normal" things that I don't stop and think about Emily until the evening. She is always in my mind, but to actually stop and think sometimes takes all day.

It was at this point in my pregnancy with Maddie that my water broke. Such strange thoughts going through my head now. This is the point in my pregnancy where I had planned to be done getting ready for our 2nd child. My plan had been from the beginning to be ready by 35 weeks, so that in case the baby came early we would be ready.

This is sure not the direction I had intended when I started writing tonight. I was just going to write a quick update and look where I went.

Those are my ramblings for tonight. Sorry for all the directions I took. I guess some days are just like that.