6 Months

Can it really have been half a year since we lost our sweet Emily Faith? It does not seem possible that so much time has passed. In six months it will have been one year. July 26th came and went without much thought about the day, in fact it was not until the next morning that I remembered that yesterday had been Emily's six month anniversary. When I remembered I got really sad that I had let the day go by and not really spend time thinking about six months ago. I shared this with my infant loss support group that night (July 27th). The facilitator of the group said she understood why it made me sad that I did not remember, but she also said it is a sign that I am healing. I will never forget Emily, but I have to go on living for our other children.

It has taken me a while to write this post because I was still processing how I felt about not remembering on the day. Last night I actually cried for the first time in several weeks. Part of it is hormones, but the other part is a sadness that I am moving on. Life keeps going and sometimes gets so crazy that important things get forgotten for a moment. I know that I will never forget Emily or the 26th of any month, but I feel really good about where I am; I am processing in my grief.

I know that there are going to be many set backs in the months and years to come, but today I am doing well. I can now talk about Emily to people and not cry every time I say her name. I am also more comfortable saying that I lost a child. It actually amazed me how easy it was the other day to share with a group of ladies that I lost an infant child 6 months ago. I did not go into detail, but just being able to share without caring what other people thought was a huge thing for me. Emily is my child and when I share about my children she is included.