Monday, January 16, 2012

More Pregnant Than I Ever Have Been

Last Wednesday I was finally more pregnant than I ever have been. It is so strange to me to be this pregnant. I am entering a whole new territory. I guess all along I just assumed that I could not carry a baby to full term. Now I am starting to think that maybe my body can do it. On Friday I will be 37 weeks and considered full term.
There are moments when I will stop and think I have not felt the baby move in awhile and then worry. I think it is natural to worry a bit, even though I wish I wouldn't. Usually if I eat or drink something and lay down for a few minutes she starts to move and I feel much better.
One of my hopes for this pregnancy was to be huge and miserable. Well, I feel huge. I am not really miserable, just uncomfortable. But I am not complaining. I am so thankful for this little life growing inside me and for every moment that I am pregnant.

In just 10 days it will be one year since Emily was born and then died. It is so strange to me that it has already been a whole year. So much has happened in the last year. Life has changed so much. I miss my little girl so much, but know that her sister would not be about ready to make her appearance if we had not lost Emily.

I have been thinking a lot about how I want to celebrate Emily's life and remember her. But I am just not sure what I want to do. I have thought about making pink cupcakes and having a private family time and also doing a balloon release. Then I think about the fact that I will be almost 38 weeks pregnant and could even possible be in the hospital on January 26th (Emily's Birthday).

I think I have come to the conclusion that I will have things ready to celebrate on January 26th and then see where I am on that day.

6 comments:

ccc said...

congratulations on getting so far with this baby. How comforting to know that you are full-term. Perhaps the baby will go all the way to 40+weeks....

Sherri said...

That's wonderful that you and baby are doing so good! I think it's a good idea to have whatever you want to do on Emily's angelversary planned, considering how close you are to meeting her little sister. I don't know about you, but I have such mixed emotions about this pregnancy, because I know it never would have happened had Kristen survived! I wouldn't give this little man up for the world, but wish every day that I had both of my girls here! Anyway, I'll be thinking of you and your family on the 26th.... and sending lots of love your way!

Natasha said...

Congratulations on such a big milestone! Glad you all are well.

LauraJane said...

You're getting there, so happy for you. :)

Sarita Boyette said...

I'm thrilled for you that you are coming along well with the baby! I know the feeling of wondering if you would ever get that far along.
I sent Emily a card - hope I still had the right address from when I sent her tag. However you celebrate for Emily, I hope that the day goes well and just remember, I'm thinking about you. xoxo

Rachel said...

Thank you all for you support during this pregnancy, it has meant a lot to me.
Sarita, we actually moved this last week (see my post from today), but I am sure that the card will be forwarded.)

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