Last Wednesday I was finally more pregnant than I ever have been. It is so strange to me to be this pregnant. I am entering a whole new territory. I guess all along I just assumed that I could not carry a baby to full term. Now I am starting to think that maybe my body can do it. On Friday I will be 37 weeks and considered full term.
There are moments when I will stop and think I have not felt the baby move in awhile and then worry. I think it is natural to worry a bit, even though I wish I wouldn't. Usually if I eat or drink something and lay down for a few minutes she starts to move and I feel much better.
One of my hopes for this pregnancy was to be huge and miserable. Well, I feel huge. I am not really miserable, just uncomfortable. But I am not complaining. I am so thankful for this little life growing inside me and for every moment that I am pregnant.
In just 10 days it will be one year since Emily was born and then died. It is so strange to me that it has already been a whole year. So much has happened in the last year. Life has changed so much. I miss my little girl so much, but know that her sister would not be about ready to make her appearance if we had not lost Emily.
I have been thinking a lot about how I want to celebrate Emily's life and remember her. But I am just not sure what I want to do. I have thought about making pink cupcakes and having a private family time and also doing a balloon release. Then I think about the fact that I will be almost 38 weeks pregnant and could even possible be in the hospital on January 26th (Emily's Birthday).
I think I have come to the conclusion that I will have things ready to celebrate on January 26th and then see where I am on that day.
The Spoils Of Victory
6 hours ago