Monday, August 15, 2011

Thoughts About My Blog

I have had so many emotions over the last week or so. I have been going back and forth about several things in regards to my blog. The major one is, do I want to continue writing about this pregnancy on this blog. When I first started this blog it was an outlet for my grief, then it became a way for me to share my life after Emily, this included Maddie. And it was at that point that I decided that this blog was about our family's journey after the loss of Emily and that this blog would include any future children that we might have.

This thought came up after a fellow BLM blogger just had her rainbow baby. This BLM had not shared about the pregnancy on her blog and it was only after the baby was born safely that she finally shared the news on her blog. She wrote about her pregnancy and shared it on her blog on a separate page after the baby was born. This actually got me to thinking...Would I have continued to read her blog if she was always talking about her pregnancy? I don't have an answer to that question. I am just not sure.

I know that after I announced my pregnancy on my blog I lost one follower. I was not surprised, in fact I actually thought I might lose more. I know a lot of BLM bloggers choose to start a new blog for their family and rainbow baby. Now that I am pregnant reading about their pregnancies is helpful to me to see what they went through emotionally during the pregnancy and how they handled a pregnancy after a loss.

Writing has been such a healing process for me. It has helped me that I have had an audience to write to, though most of this is for me. I have struggled with saying the wrong thing knowing people read what I write and come to the point where it ultimately is for me and if someone does not like it they can just stop reading. This is not to be harsh or mean, but this is me, my thoughts and feeling. I am fine with anyone reading them, but it is my opinion and is never directed at anyone.

Writing today has actually helped me process. And I have talked to several people about my thoughts about continuing to write about the pregnancy on this blog. One person I talked to suggested that I needed to share my process for deciding, especially for someone who has just lost a baby and has started reading my blog.

I want this blog to be a documentation of everything that has happened and everything that we as a family will go through as a result of losing Emily. With that said, I have decided that I will continue to write about this pregnancy on my blog. And when the baby is born I will also write about our little peanut.

8 comments:

LauraJane said...

I know when I'm pregnant, I'll continue to post on my blog about it. I very much read blogs about people who have gone on to be pregnant, or have rainbows... In the same way as I like to look back on my earlier posts to see how far I've come, I very much like to see what the emotional effects come with a new pregnancy.

But I'm not everyone, and there are people who won't want to read about it, so they'll skip your blog or stop following. Maybe, once they're ready, they'll find you again to check-in on you and re-follow.

BTW, if people stopped following you because you're pregnant, I would imagine it as a case of them not being able to read it, rather than them being put-off or not happy for you. It's just hard sometimes, you know? :)

ccc said...

I am glad you wrote a post explaining yourself. I am interested in hearing other's journeys through subsequent pregnancy after a loss. Most women who lose a baby do go on to have another and it all is part of the healing process in my opinion.
I look forward to hearing about your pregnancy.

*Lauren* said...

I've been mulling over the same thing myself. I thought about making a separate blog for our current pregnancy but decided that not to do that. I have noticed that not as many people are commenting on my blog since I've started posting about this pregnancy. I feel bad if I've hurt anyone's feelings...or if people feel like I'm rubbing the pregnancy in their face...

However, I feel like this baby's story started with Matthew and Joshua. Without those two and what we went through with them, we wouldn't be where we are now. That's just how I see it.

I'm glad that you're going to continue to blog about your pregnancy because it is part of your journey. Hope everyone continues to follow you, and if not, maybe they will follow you once they get to a better place in their own grief.

Tiffany said...

I think you should do whatever feels right for you. Your story is your story, and your new pregnancy is part of it. Like Laura said, if people stop reading it's probably because of them, not you. Personally, I am happy to read about the good things that happen to people after they've had to suffer the pain of losing a child. A new child is such a gift, and I'm glad you are sharing along with the rest of your story!

Sherri said...

The way I see it, we're all blogging about our angels, because we've been forever changed. Subsequent pregnancies are just another step in the process. I keep reading after I find out a BLM is pregnant, partly because I want to know those feelings as well... It's easier now that I'm expecting too... I plan to keep blogging on the same page... Kristen will always be a huge part of my life, and she has shaped the way I look at things now, why not reflect that in my blog?

Darcey said...

I have been torn as well, but the reason I started to write was specifically as a journal/emotional release and to document this experience and as Laura Jane said to see where I was and how far I have come. If people choose to stop reading then that is their choice and I wouldn't take it personal. When their time comes for a subsequent pregnancy they will probably find solace in being able to come back and see that what they are feeling is completely normal I know I do.
I am glad you are continuing to write about your pregnancy and not starting a new page. Our lives are forever altered, but continue on and every event after the loss of our angel becomes part of our new life including subsequent children. I look forward to seeing where your journey goes and everything that goes along with that :)

Jen said...

I started a seperate blog for my rainbow and didn't really talk much about pregnancy stuff on Lily's blog. I wanted to protect those readers that weren't ready to hear about pregnancy and gave them the option of following Cooper's blog if they wanted to...

I know a lot of blms that didn't start other blogs for their rainbow baby and I think that's fine, too. I hope the follower that left your blog didn't do it out of unhappiness for you b/c I am a firm believer in being there for each other in the times of joy and sadness...

Nika M. said...

Reading about pregnancies doesn't usually bother me. Well, at least not anymore. When everything was still very fresh, I didn't like to see babies or pregnant women, so I actually deleted some pregnant friends off my facebook, just because I was tired of seeing their ultrasound pictures in my newsfeed every time I logged on. With blogs though, I could choose whether I wanted to read it or not.

I'm so very happy for you, and I'll still be around, no matter what you decide to write about.

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