Small Miracles ~ Life

I have tried to write this post several times over the last two days, but always have to stop writing because I just don't have the words, my mind seems to go blank. I finally have the words, I know what my small miracle is:

The miracle of life.

For those of us who have lost a child at any stage in pregnancy and beyond we treasure those moments we had with our child(ren). But I really struck me today. What a miracle that I have had the chance to be pregnant, not just once, but twice. I had the opportunity to care for Emily for 23 weeks. The Lord blessed us, but allowing us to get pregnant and then to carry our sweet baby. We did not get the chance to raise her, but she is and will always be ours.

I have had so much sad news in the last 7 days, a dear friend, a sweet baby boy, and a close friend of my husbands all passed away recently. I have cried for each one, but I have also rejoiced in their lives. Each one of them was on this earth for a reason and now each one of them is no longer with us, but they remain in our hearts.

This is not the most uplifting small miracles post I have written, but it is my heart. I found a verse today that I thought was perfect for this post today. I had thought about writing a post about it, but that is not where I felt led to write today, but I do want to share the verse with you.

Psalm 71:14 - As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.

This is my prayer, I want to aways have hope:

Hope that the Lord is near me and that He cares for me, even in the hard times.

Hope that one day we will see those we have lost again.

Hope in the promise of a rainbow.

Hope that I can praise the Lord, more and more

What miracles have you witnessed or felt lately? Hop on over to Small Bird Studio and join this blog hop and share your small miracle.

Small Miracles ~ Peace

I have been thinking about what I would write for the Small Miracles blog hop this month for about a week now. I have thought about several different directions to go for this post, but each time I come up with a topic or start to write the post in my head I decided I need to go a different direction.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines peace as "a state of tranquillity or quiet."

That definition certainly does not describe my life or family right now. We are defiantly not in "a state of tranquility or quiet." Yet I have been able to describe how I am feeling, as being at peace.

I am very at peace about the decisions that are being made for our family right now. We are contemplating me returning to work full time and my husband staying home and caring for our daughter during the day. A year ago, even several months ago I got depressed and sad thinking about having to return to work full time. Yet in the last several weeks, as I have prayed about this option and talked with my husband I have felt a peace about this decision.

I miss Emily everyday, though some days more than others, and I wish I was still pregnant and that we were busy planning for her arrive. And I have been mad at God for not answering our prays in the way we wanted them answered. But I also have this strange (at least to me) peace about how the Lord chose to answer our prayers. In His infinite knowledge, He knew what was best for our family and He also knew that we could weather this storm.

Even in the darkest days of my grief I have felt a peace in my heart. It is strange to think that I can be so wrought with grief and pain and still feel peace. I can't explain it any better than that, it just is that way.

I know that the feeling of peace is not just in my head, it is truly in my heart. A little over a week ago I shared a section of scripture that really had impacted me: John 16:16-33 (you can read the post here). My focus was about grief being turned into joy, however, there is also a verse that talks about Jesus' peace. He showed me about joy and peace in the same set of verses.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

So my small miracle this month is peace.

There are two other verses that speak of the Lord's peace

2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.

AND

Isaiah 26:3

You keep him in perfect peace

whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.

What is your small miracle this month? Join me over at Small Bird Studios and share your small miracle.

HOPE

The whole world of blogging is very new to me. I have been reading blogs for awhile now, and it always amazes me that people can write and that people actually will read what they write down. Now I am blogging too.

Today I was reading a blog post about hope. Hope is such loaded word, especially for someone who feels like they have lost the hope they once had. Franchesca at Small Bird Studio started a blog hop for people to share about hope. She posed this question: "What small {or big!} miracles have brought you hope lately?"

This question got me to thinking about hope and if I have any right now. I know that I have hope in my Saviour and that even through this difficult time He is still my Comforter and Healer. But what miracles have I seen lately that have brought me hope?

One thing that comes to mind that brings me hope is seeing the new life happening around me. While it is still winter (and we had snow this morning) it has been warm enough that one of the trees in our back yard has started to bloom. This tree, that has looked dead for months, has new life. The Webster Dictionary defines hope as "to cherish a desire with anticipation." The desire I cherish with anticipation is the renewing of life with the coming of Spring. What a great reminder that all things will be made new. We see this each year with the coming of Spring.

I also have hope for all the new babies being born around me. I though after we came home without Emily that I would not be able to see a pregnant woman or new baby without crying or getting angry at God, but the reverse has happened. I find my smiling at the thought of brand new babies, and praying for the women I know who are pregnant, that their pregnancy will continue to go well and that they will have a safe delivery. I pray that they will never know the heart break that I do, AND I look forward to meeting all these new little ones in the coming months.

I also take great comfort in this verse. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
The Lord has not been surprised by any of what has happened to our family. We do not always understand why things happen to us, but I know that the Lord has a plan for my life and that of our family and I can have
HOPE in that.