Wednesday, October 26, 2011

9 Months

Our baby girl would have been 9 months old today, if she had lived. 9 months have passed, and in 3 short months will be one year. It is hard to believe that we have made it though 9 months. I know that in the beginning I never imagined that life would go on and that my grief has gotten easy to live with. It is like everyone told me in time it is easier. Time or the addition of another child to our family will not change the fact that we lost a child. I will always miss Emily. She is and will always be my 2nd child.

In the past 9 months I have seen grief sneak in at the oddest times. Times when I think I am doing great and do not expect to be bombarded with extreme sadness. The other night I was laying in bed and began to think about a dear friend, Sue, who died a few months after Emily. Her death was very unexpected. Sue had been to visit me at the hospital before Emily was born and that was the last time I got to see her. I spoke with her twice more before she died. I remember what an encouragement she was to me that afternoon in the hospital. The other night as I was thinking about her and missing her I got this image of her holding Emily in heaven. It was such a wonderful image and I am glad that she is in heaven with Emily.

I am so thankful that I got to spend the time I did with Emily and that I will forever be her mommy.

I love you baby girl.


Kristi Ahrens said...

Aw Rachel. This post....I have been thinking about Sue a lot lately. I have often wondered if babies are still babies in heaven or if they grow up because I have always thought that Sue is probably holding Emily, and what a special bond they probably have together there. Love you friend!

Amy von Oven said...

I just found your blog....I am so sorry for your loss...My sweet baby has been gone for a little over two years. Some days it still feels like yesterday. It makes me happy and yet so sad to think of her and all the friends she has in Heaven.

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