In Loving Memory

Many people have asked over the last several days what is our plan for a memorial service for Emily. Ron and I have decided to not have a public memorial for Emily. During the last hour of Emily's life Ron and I were with her and got to say goodbye and feel that we have had the closure that we needed as a family and as a couple. While we are not planning on having a memorial there are several things that we are doing to remember her and make sure that Emily is never forgotten. The hospital staff was wonderful in making sure that we had the time to spend with Emily, as well as taking many pictures of her with us, so we will always have that memory. In the future I will post a few pictures of Emily.
We understand that many of you, our family and friends, would like to have a physical way to express your love and support for us and to have a way of remembering Emily. If this is something that you would like to do, we ask that you make a donation in memory Emily Faith to the March of Dimes.
Even though Emily was only alive for a short time, the medical staff used so many life saving measures to keep our little girl alive and many of these advances would not have even been possible several years ago. Because of the donations of people over the years to March of Dimes there have been so many advancements in the care of premature babies as well as in prolonging pregnancy.
You can visit the March of Dimes website to find out more about what they do and how that money is used or you can click here to be taken directly to the donation page of March of Dimes.
We are so thankful for each one of you who have been praying for us in the past week.

The Innocence of a Child

Tonight I was laying on the couch and Maddie pointed at my tummy and said "baby." We have been telling her for months that there is a baby in mommy's tummy and she would give my tummy a kiss and a hug. I think that in her limited understanding she knew there was a baby in mommy's tummy. Since we have been home she had not said anything about the baby, so I thought maybe it would not come up, or at least not for awhile. But in the amazing innocence of a child she asked about the baby in mommy's tummy. It was such a sweet and difficult moment at the same time. Ron and I took the chance to tell her that her baby sister was now in heaven with Jesus. I know that at times, as parents, we wonder how much our children actually comprehend, but after tonight I see that even at 2 years old Maddie understands more that we think she does. I love the fact that we can share with her, even at this age, that she does have a sister, and that Emily will forever be in our hearts.

Our First Born

Our oldest daughter, Maddie is such a joy in our life right now. I am so thankful to the Lord that we have her in our life. There have been several times in the last few days that I have thought I don't know how I would have made it through if it had not been for Maddie. She brings a light into our life that we need right now. The last few weeks have been very difficult on her. Since we have been home I have sensed that she has anxiety that if mommy and daddy are not in the room with her, or if we leave that we are not coming back. I am trying very hard to reassure her that mommy and daddy are here and if she needs us we are there for her. Tonight when I put Maddie to bed, I laid down next to her and she crawled over to me and put her arms around my neck and just hugged me. This amazing 2 year old has a way of making all right with the world when she gives me a hug and kiss and a smile. Since we have been home I find myself finding more time to spend with Maddie and just treasuring the moments when she is happy to sit on my lap and be hugged. I am more willing to give into little things like letting her sleep in bed with us at night, and letting her stay up a bit later than her bed time just to be able to spend a bit more time with her and make sure she knows that we will still be here when she wakes up in the morning.

Only Two Days...

It is almost midnight, making this the end of our second day without Emily. We are about to begin our third day. If I don't stop and think about it, then it all just seems like a bad dream that I can wake up from. Then I stop and think about all the events that have occurred over the past few weeks and find myself crying all over again. The day for our family was spent getting back to a "normal" life. I played with Maddie, did laundry, and picked up toys. I know I did a bit too much, but it felt good to be able to actually do something today. As I write this I am waiting for my sister's plane to arrive. She has dropped everything to come out and be with us this weekend. I am so thankful for her and glad that we get to spend this weekend as a family.